Friday, June 20, 2008

touchy customer service related rant

let me preface this rant by saying i am a used book buyer for a used book store.

the most annoying part of my day is hearing people whine when i don't buy their books. folks, if you bring in, say, two bags - roughly 50 books - and i buy, say, 25 of them, please do not smart off to me about how hard it is for you to carry the refused books back with you or to the donation drop bin located in the parking lot of a supermarket down the street. please. i understand that it is an inconvenience to you as you were hoping to amass such immense wealth from these books that smell as though they've been basting in dog piss and moth balls in the garage since the Ford administration. i completely understand your plight. but please keep in mind that:

    A: we did not substitute your books with bricks.
    B: you seemingly managed to get your book here fine
    C: we've already met our quota for piss-reeking Wally Lamb books.

for the first point, look on the bright side, your load is lighter. some of your books were indeed heavy, and i guesstimate that i might've lightened your load by a good 10 pounds. thats like taking an obese cat off your hands! or someone's head! its like i relieved you of the burden of carrying around a limb. you're welcome.

second point deals with the blatant fact that YOU SEEMINGLY MUSTERED UP THE RESOLVE TO HOOF YOUR BOOKS UPHILL FOR THREE BLOCKS IN THE RELATIVELY COOL TEMPERATURES IN A PAIR OF TREMENDOUSLY SUPPORTIVE ATHLETIC SNEAKERS. i mean, you got em here ok, and since your load is hereby reduced by an estimated 10lbs, you are looking golden for that return trip!

the last point is my personal favorite. man, the shit people bring in! besides the obvious reasons why we reject books (highlighting, current stock levels, past sales) here are a few i've had to give this week alone:

    "this book doesn't have a cover"
    "this book has been ripped in half"
    "this book has severe water damage"
    "this book has no cover and has been ripped in half"
    "this book has been ripped in half and soaked in water. also, its missing its cover."
    "this one has drill holes through it"
    "this is a telephone book. from texas. from 1989"

i know sometimes when your cleaning and you just want to get rid of stuff so you just throw it all in box and hope maybe you'll get something out of it. all i'm asking for is some basic pre-screening common sense. don't get huffy-puffy at me because i won't buy your fecal-encrusted phonebook or your halved first edition Maeve Binchy novels. no, you should throw a hissy fit at your pre-screening skills.

that's all.


peter b. said...

people are terrible

brooklyn said...

Piss-reeking Wally Lamb: our used bookstore has about four hundred thirty three copies of I Know This Much is True, all priced at one dollah, and the Goodwill sells the same book for a buck fifty-nine. I've always wondered who was reading this book in the first place...

aimee said...

but think of all the good writing material you've gained from this experience.

no, really, think about it. or better yet think about how much i laugh when you come home and relay these things to me! It makes me feel better,and safer, to know that you are out there standing up for what you believe in, or rejecting what you don't believe in.

and your belief system leaves no room for texan phonebooks. I understand and accept that.

triptych trencher said...

upon finishing a wally lamb novel, there's nothing left to do put urinate on it.

JuliS said...

Someone really brought in a 1989 telephone directory and expected you to take it of his/her hands? It would be ridiculous to even donate it to a charity or thrift store or your church's yard sale.

There is almost NOTHING that surprises me when it comes what people will and won't do anymore. I mention church yard sale because outr chuerch just held theirs and I helped proce and sort the donations. It;s our 11th year and we've made up some rules over that time as we became fed up with the crap people would try to dump off:

--furniture reeking of pet urine and/or covered with pet hair
--furniture so filthy a homeless man would sleep on the hard cold pavement next to it
--15+-year-old computers
--broken appliances of every sort
--filthy/torn/worn clothing of every sort
--stained bedsheets and mattresses
--broken toys of every sort
--and books in the condition you described, and many even worse

triptych trencher said...

stained mattresses. that's awesome. i knew a guy once who whenever he checked into a hotel or motel, the first thing he'd do is rip all the sheets off the bed and inspect the mattress. one time he found one that looked like it was part of a murder scene. that's why i never stay at la quintas.

taylor k said...

I really like it when people post on craigslist under the free section things like "19 inch tv, not working but hey it's free!"

I know a lot of people in the world like to fix things, but 19 inch magnavox televisions from 1998... I don't know...

I can maybe understand "19 inch tv, only black and white but hey it's free" or "19 inch tv, mute won't work but hey it's free".