Monday, May 15, 2006

sunk, sort of

two days removed from viewing POSEIDON
on an IMAX movie screen at a local furniture
store. the entire scene bordered on the
absurd/amazing line. total first-date lighting
feel. lots of middle aged folks roaming around
too stoned to get into any semi-north shore
parties. so they end up at jordan's furniture
to spend thirty bucks on jelly beans and
fuddrucker cheeseburgers. and the furniture
is pricey, but solidly made. on to the movie.
if i were a movie buff, i'd give this one...
maybe...a half star. but if i like seeing dudes
impaled on shards of metal and broken glass,
or if i liked to look at burn victims, especially
on an IMAX screen, this one gets a hearty
five (out of six). acting wise i wasn't expecting
much. going in, i knew going in that any movie
boasting kurt russell as an ex mayor forced to
live out his legacy on a cruise ship slash off-shore
gambling casino (with daughter, and her fiancee,
mind you) while wearing a shitload of makeup,
as well as a quasi-gay richard dreyfus (with
earring too boot), was most likely going to
mean $11.00 down the toilet. in the end, you
walk away with two important messages:

    1.) if you're ever in the midst of a catastrophe
    or natural disaster, stick close to white folks.
    they're pros at surviving catastrophes and
    natural disasters.

    2.) half the time, rogue waves aren't
    entirely blame for a ships untimely
    destruction. don't believe the anti-
    rogue wave media. be a pro-rogue
    wave hype man.

in all, i'd rank POSEIDON
somewhere between the fade haircut and
jumping out of a second story window
in the pantheon of "things you have to
experience at least once, maybe twice."

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